February 2, 2008

TIB Saturday Night Live Post: 50 Ways to Reject Romney

Let’s have some fun on TIB tonight (click on the TIB link at Weapons of Mass Discussion).

Based on Paul Simon’s 50 ways to leave your lover


The problem’s all inside your head on Mitt Romney,
The others make you want to vote for him illogically.
I’d like to help you in your struggle to be free.
There must be fifty ways to reject Romney.

It all starts with the fact that he’s insufferably rude,
Calls critics delusional, y’know that can’t be misconstrued.
So I’ll repeat myself at the risk of being crude –
There must be fifty ways to rip Mitt Romney.
Fifty ways to reject Romney.


1. Calling Ronald Reagan “adamantly “pro-abortion.”
2. Calling Gregg Jackson delusional for daring to raise why Romney is Objectively Unfit.
3. Tolerating sanctuary cities in Massachusetts.
4. Raising fees in Massachusetts.
5. Failing to roll back the top income tax rate in Massachusetts.
6. Lying to an AP reporter about whether a lobbyist is tied to his campaign.
7. Calling Henry Hyde pro-abortion.
8. Signing on to state-run health care.
9. Leaving Massachusetts’s finances in bad shape.
10. Pretending that he left Massachusetts’s finances in good shape.
11. He was worse as governor of Massachusetts than Bob Taft was as governor of Ohio.
12. He claimed to be a “lifelong hunter,” having hunted at most a few times.
13. He pulled $20 billion out of nowhere and promised it to Michigan.
14. $50 Subsidized Abortions in RomneyCare.
15. Costs out of control in RomneyCare.
16. Huge penalties to those who don’t buy insurance in RomneyCare.
17. His hair is too perfect.
18. He is still invested in Bain Capital.
19. Other family members are still invested in Bain Capital.
20. Bain Capital is invested in Iran.
21. Bain Capital is invested in Russian Oil companies.
22. Bain Capital is invested in Chinese Communist oil companies.
23. Those Chinese and Russian oil companies Bain has invested in have made multibillion-dollar deals with Iran.
24. Mitt Romney has criticized pension funds that have invested in companies doing business with Iran.
25. Bain Capital did not increase jobs at many if not most of the companies it invested in.
26. Romney would not support the Bush tax cuts in 2003 when asked, and now claims he supported them.
27. Romney’s tax increases while governor extracted money from New Hampshire residents to balance the Bay State’s budget.
28. The dog strapped on the roof for an hours-long trip.
29. Falsely claims that he saw his father March with MLK in Grosse Pointe, Michigan.
30. When it was found that his father had never done that, told everyone that it all depended on the meaning of the word “saw.”
31. At least $90 million spent.
32. At least $35 million of it from his own back pocket.
33. Romney Supported Abortion Rights EXPANSION in 1994.
34. Romney presumptively pushed aside the incumbent to attain the governorship in Massachusetts.
35. He and his campaign spread a false rumor that Fred Thompson would drop out no matter what happened in Iowa.
36. He has abandoned RomneyCare now that he is running for president, abdicating responsibility for the monster he created.
37. His personal financial disclosure form is incomplete, misleading, and not on deadline.
38. He co-opted the National Review.
39. He co-opted Massachusetts Right to Life to get an endorsement (and from a sub-group, not the whole organization).
40. His campaign is the most likely source of the anti-Mormon robocalls in Iowa and elsewhere to set up his speech about religion.
41. He co-opted the Heritage Foundation to write a state-run health plan.
42. He left the Massachusetts GOP so weak that it lost the governor’s mansion for the first time in 16 years.
43. He left the Massachusetts GOP so weak that it was a smaller minority in the legislature than when he took office.
44. Weak employment growth while he was governor.
45. Thinks his family’s service as Mormon missionaries is the equivalent of military service.
46. Hoodwinked Sean Hannity, into thinking he (Romney) is less liberal than John McCain.
47. Hoodwinked Laura Ingraham, into thinking he (Romney) is less liberal than John McCain.
48. Hoodwinked Glenn Beck, into thinking he (Romney) is less liberal than John McCain.
49. Hoodwinked Rick Santorum, into thinking he (Romney) is less liberal than John McCain.
50. Hoodwinked the Great One, Mark Levin, into thinking he (Romney) is less liberal than John McCain.



  1. I’ve been reading your blog for two years now and I like this blog because you put an objective face on business news. That being said, I’d also like to say that, while I’m not a Romney fan and I have no favorite in either race at this point, I think you’re beating the anti-Romney drum a bit too much. Just an opinion.

    keep up the good work though.

    Comment by deskbox — February 2, 2008 @ 8:55 pm

  2. #1, thanks for your thoughts. Consider it a very partial make-up for the fact that the vast majority of talk radio and the conservative megablogs are training virtually all of their fire on McCain while ignoring Romney’s more liberal, extra-constitutional, oath-breaking record.

    Comment by TBlumer — February 2, 2008 @ 11:11 pm

  3. When you start setting this stuff to music, we must begin to suspect Romney Derangement Syndrome. On the other hand, any time you’re lined up against, Hannity, Ingraham, Beck, Santorum, and Levin, you’re in a very good place.

    Comment by Tony B. — February 2, 2008 @ 11:53 pm

  4. Good roundup, which I promptly linked to in the interest of keeping my readership properly apprised of the dangers of Hollow Man Mitt. You were excessively generous, though in leaving the cancer-mongering of Fred off the list, because we all know that tool Hewitt was just acting as a sock puppet for that wonderful family man Mittens. Allow me to be so bold as to drop a link here to my latest Romney hit job, an angry retort to the would-be right wing thought police talking down to all of us for being too stupid not to see the Wonders of Willard.
    –Rick at The FDH Lounge blog

    Comment by Rick Morris — February 3, 2008 @ 1:06 am

  5. #4, close call on Hewitt, but can’t prove it. Really good post at your place.

    Comment by TBlumer — February 3, 2008 @ 6:49 am

RSS feed for comments on this post.

Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.