June 30, 2008

Victoria Wells Wulsin’s ‘Brilliant!’ Insights on Iraq and Energy

Victoria Wells Wulsin Whatever, affectionately referred to around here as VW3, has a full, complete, all-angles-considered, and simply fabulous plan for Iraq at her OH-02 congressional campaign web site.

I really can’t understand why no one in the Bush Administration, the military, or in Iraq has thought of this (saved here in case Team VW3 changes it, for fair use and discussion purposes):

• Iraq:

We need to set benchmarks and goals for the war in Iraq, and we need to have a plan to bring our troops home safely and quickly. We should also establish clear goals and benchmarks for the Iraqi government, and bring the troops home if they’re not met.

GuinnessBrilliant

Brilliant!

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Upon learning of Wulsin’s plan, President George W. Bush was heard to say, “I should have figured that out with my huuuuuge brain. ….. Wait a minute — We did, and I was in charge. How ’bout that!”

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General David Petraeus said, “I should have felt that in my biiiiiig heart. ….. Hold on — The Iraqis have met or are working towards meeting those benchmarks.”

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Barack Obama said, “I should have had the cour- …. uh, never mind.”

“Hey — Stop talking about my gun flip-flop ….. and my wife ….. and my race ….. and my former old pastor ….. and my former new pastor ….. and Father Pfleger ….. and my smoking ….. and my campaign finance “flip-flop of epic proportions” ….. and my FISA flip-flop ….. and my twenty-plus other flip-flops.”

“And I’m putting you on notice — You’d better not say another word about my ears!”

“Anybody got a light?”

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Iraq’s Prime Minister Nouri Al-Maliki muttered, “You Americans need to keep this Wulsin woman out of your Congress …. and her little dog too (scroll to “6/17/2006″ at the link; backup file here). Oh, and remind Obama that he hasn’t been to Iraq in over 900 days. So he’d best go to an airport, notify air traffic control, start flapping those ears (snicker, snicker), and get over here.”

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The above policy statement by Ms. Wells Wulsin Whatever should not surprise anyone who has read the full, complete, all-angles-considered, and simply fabulous text of her energy statement at the same web page (backup file here), as it comes straight from the Land of Oz:

Gas prices are too high. We should reduce our dependence on foreign oil and reduce our dependence on the foreign powers that provide it. Southern Ohio is well positioned to develop alternative energy sources for the nation – let’s invest in cleaner, renewable power produced here at home.

VW3 will just click those ruby slippers together a few times (“there’s no energy like clean energy, there’s no energy like clean energy …..”). Just like that, we’ll have all the “cleaner, renewable power” we’ll eeeeever need, right now, without having to do any messy drilling for that nasty black stuff.

Brill- Whatever, Vic.

How Will Media Report Lowest-Ever 2-Month US Troop Death Toll in Iraq?

With less than 10 hours remaining until the end of June in Iraq at the time of this post, it is clear, barring heavy last-minute casuaties, that May and June will show the lowest two-month total of US troop deaths in the five-year history of our involvement there.

How with the media handle the news?

Here is the detail (source: icasualties.org):

IraqUStroopDeathsAsOf0608

As you can see, May-June two-month total of 48 troop deaths from all causes is quite a bit lower than any other two-month period in the entire war. The next-lowest is 60, in November and December of 2007.

The two-month death toll of 38 from hostile causes is the lowest since August and September of 2003.

The icasualties.org home page also shows that June’s death toll of 422 Iraqi Security Forces and Civilians is the lowest since the web sit began tracking such information in January 2006.

The results would seem to support that notion that last year’s troop “surge” has been successful in reducing violence beyond the period of the higher troop presence.

So how will the media handle the unprecedented improvement? Some possibilities:

  • Point out that June’s total of US troop deaths is 50% higher than May’s.
  • Adopt the approach of the Associated Press, which has telegraphed that it will lighten up on reporting from Iraq because people are “war-weary.”
  • Note that the improvements should create expectations for bringing troops home sooner rather than later.

Readers are welcome to provide other possible, and perhaps more creative, media-spin predictions.

Cross-posted at NewsBusters.org.

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UPDATE, 11 p.m.: The answer is …. “Afghanistan is worse” (HT to a NewsBusters commenter).

UPDATE 2, 11:30 p.m.: Looks like the June numbers are final, with no change.

Positivity: One-in-a-hundred girl comes of age

Filed under: Positivity — Tom @ 7:49 am

From England:

TINY Emmie Laughton was given just a one-in-100 chance of survival when she was born four months premature.

Weighing one pound and measuring just eight inches long, her parents Heather and Al, of Hedon, were told to prepare for the worst and were warned if she did survive she would be more than likely to die soon after.

But now, looking the picture of health, Emmie has beaten the odds and yesterday celebrated her 21st birthday.

Proud mum Heather of Burnsalls Road, said her daughter’s achievements are nothing short of a miracle.

She said: “When I went into labour the doctors told me I was having a miscarriage.

“We were devastated, it was our first child and we desperately wanted the baby to be okay.

“The doctors said they would have special baby care units on standby in case she survived, but told us if she did survive the birth, she would most likely die and if she did survive there would be severe complications.

“We were told she may have brain damage due to a lack of oxygen and would most likely be deaf or blind.

“Although she was tiny she was perfectly formed and I just knew she would be all right.”

For the first three weeks, Emmie’s parents were unable to hold her and doctors found it hard to get an accurate weight because of the amount of tubes and wires that were attached to her frail body.

But 13 weeks later, weighing five pounds two ounces, Emmie was finally allowed home, three weeks before she was originally due to be born.

By the age of five Emmie had triumphed in the world of dancing and passed the infants ballet exam with flying colours.

Heather said: “After we were told she would not survive, it is a miracle she is healthy.

“She has never had any health problems.

“She is full of life and has never even needed to wear glasses.”

Now 21, Emmie has completed a Btec in fine art and a Btec in beauty therapy at Hull College.

She said: “When I look back at pictures of myself I can’t believe I was ever that small.

“I feel really proud to have overcome that and I’m just thankful I’m alive and healthy. …..

Go here for the rest of the story.