“Certainly, I’m frustrated at times and I apologize if I offended anybody by that,” Woods said. “But I’ve hit some bad shots and it’s certainly frustrating at times not hitting the ball where you need to hit it.”
… “I certainly heard that people didn’t like me kicking the club, but I didn’t like it, either,” Woods said. “I hit it right in the bunker and it didn’t feel good on my toe either.”
“As a partner in a firm full of women who work outside of the home as well as stay at home mothers, all with plenty of children, gender equality is not a talking point for me. It is an issue I live every day. I apologize to Ann Romney and anyone else who was offended. Let’s declare peace in this phony war and go back to focus on the substance.”
Saying that you’re sorry others were offended is NOT an apology. It’s telling the others that they’re the ones with the problem.
That didn’t cut it with Tiger, and it sure as heck doesn’t cut it for Ms. Rosen.
Hilary Rosen has not said she is sorry for what she said. The closest she has come is to say something about “poorly chosen” words — as if she could have made selections from a menu of words which would have the sentiment that “Ann Romney hasn’t worked a day in her life” acceptable. (My understanding is that Rosen’s full fury in the background is being directed at those who she believes threw her under the bus after setting her up to make an on-air criticism which Team Obama thought might be politically opportune. Breitbart.com believes that the President himself laid the groundwork for to all of this in a speech on Friday.)
Nothing short of an unconditional “I was wrong; I am sorry” will do.
This is only hard because so many of us have been led to believe that there is weakness in an unconditional apology, and our egos can’t stand that prospect. So, even at the risk of dissing a mythical character I mostly like — NCIS’s Leroy Jethro Gibbs (Rule #6: “Never say you’re sorry. It’s a sign of weakness”) — sincerely admitting you were wrong acknowledges weakness, but is a sign of strength.
Yes, an unconditional apology puts you in a weak position, as you are become dependent on the other person or persons to forgive you (assuming their forgiveness is important; if it’s not, then don’t waste your time apologizing, because you’re just going through the motions). But you’re the person who put yourself there, and a sincere apology acknowledges that. If the other person doesn’t forgive you, well, there is an obligation on that person to do so if it is seen as sincere (which “I’m sorry if you were offended” never is), but if they don’t come through and do what they should, actions (and statements) have consequences, and you’re the one who started it.
Those who had a legitimate right to a sincere apology — which includes, at a minimum, Ann Romney and every other woman and man who has for a time foregone paid employment to take care of their family’s children, along with every child who along with any siblings have benefited from a parent’s exclusive focus on them — have only one recourse against people like Hilary Rosen. It’s to vote for a presidential candidate other than the one whose reelection Ms. Rosen and her firm have been engaged to support. If that happens — and it should — Hilary Rosen will deserve all of the blame.
UPDATE: Jim Treacher at the DC Trawler has similare thoughts, but with his inimitable style –
Hilary Rosen provides a valuable lesson in how not to apologize
This is just another variation on that old classic: “I called you an idiot and I’m sorry… I’m sorry you’re an idiot!” When making an apology, one does not call one’s critics “faux” and “phony.” One does not wrap oneself in victimhood to deflect their criticism. One does not say, “I’m sorry I told you to shut up. Now shut up.”
We know your pride has been grievously wounded, Hilary, but this is very shoddy work. D-. The only thing keeping you from a failing grade is that you’re so awful at this, I feel guilty for enjoying it so much;
If you think demanding free birth control entitles you to speak, but actually having the kids and raising them doesn’t, #YouMightBeALiberal.
— ‘Jim’ ‘Treacher’ (@jtLOL) April 12, 2012