August 16, 2014

NewsBusted (081514)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 11:20 am

Here we go:

– National Debt
– Jewish Voters
– Democratic Party
– Impeachment
– PF Chang’s
– Thomas Sowell
– San Antonio Spurs
– Laura Ingraham
– NFL Super Bowl 50

Best Lines:

  • “Conservative radio host Laura Ingraham is hinting she may run for office. And Democrats are already coming up with hundreds of sexist things to say about her.”
  • “The NFL announced it will not use Roman numberals to signify Super Bowl 50. They figure with (that) with Common Core, nobody knows how to read Roman numberals any more.”
August 13, 2014

NewsBusted (8/13/14)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 7:05 am

Here we go:

– Ebola Virus
– Russian Bombers
– President Obama
– US-Africa Leaders Summitt
– Joe Biden
– Nancy Pelosi
– Montana Senate Race
– Congressman Mo Brooks
– Obama Cheat at Golf?

Best Lines:

  • “Last week President Obama hosted a state dinner for several Third World African dictators. Obama wanted to get their advice on how to lead a nation in poverty without a constitution.”
  • “During a speecn at the U.S.-Africa leaders summit last week, Joe Biden referred to Africa as ‘a nation.’ And President Obama reminded attendees that America is a nation too — with 57 states.”
  • “Nancy Pelosi also mistakenly referred to Africa as a country last week. A spokesperson said Pelosi never passed geography, so she has no idea what’s in it.”
August 11, 2014

NewsBusted (080814)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 12:59 pm

Catching up on Friday’s edition, here we go:

– Putin
– Obamacare
– Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee
– NBC’s Chuck Todd
– Illegal Aliens
– Michelle Obama
– Hillary Clinton
– Joe Biden

Best Lines:

  • “Hillary Clinton is refusing to disclose her net worth. Yeah, let me guess … her net worth is just a little bit more than ‘dead broke.’”
  • “A new book claims that Joe Biden likes to swim in the nude. And you can read all about it in the latest issue of ’101 Reasons We Wish We Were Blind’ magazine.”
August 5, 2014

NewsBusted (080514)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 6:38 am

Here we go:

– John Kerry
– Gaza Cease Fire
– John Boehner
– Unemployment Rate
– Indiana Pacers’ Paul George
– Mitt Romney
– Firefighters and Climate Change
– Sarah Palin
– New York Times
– Marijuana Legalization

Best Lines:

  • “Sarah Palin has launched her own online digital TV channel. The New York Times say they look forward to not watching it, so they can give it a bad review.”
  • “Speaking of the New York Times, they just endorsed the legalization of marijuana. Be we think they just need more Americans stoned in order to take Paul Krugman seriously.”
August 4, 2014

NewsBusted (080114)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 1:24 pm

Here we go, from last Friday:

– Environmental Groups
– Mak Zuckerberg
– Hillary Clinton
– JetBlue Pilot
– 2016 Democratic Ticket
– Elizabeth Warren
– Fake Obamacare Applicants
– Rachel Maddow
– Illegal Aliens

Best Line:“Mark Zuckerberg is now the richest man on he planet, and liberals immediately began posting criticism of Zuckerbergy on … where else? … Facebook.”

July 29, 2014

NewsBusted (072914)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 3:52 pm

Here we go:

– V.A. Scandal
– Bill Maher
– Obama Motorcade
– Obama Traffic Jams
– John Kerry
– Snoop Dogg
– Michael Moore
– Darth Vader
– Hillary Clinton

Best Lines (among many):

  • “Network news programs continue to mostly ignore the VA scandal. In fact, the average waiting period for network coverage of the scandal is now as long as the waiting period for a vet to get seen by a doctor.”
  • “Secretary of State John Kerry had to go through a metal detector before meeting the president of Egypt. But that’s only because the guards had a bet on whether Kerry was actually made of tin.”
  • “Rapper Snoop Dog told Jimmy Kimmel that he once got high at the White House. Snoop claims he was so high at the time the President’s explanation of Obamacare actually made sense.”
  • “Michael Moore has been found to own nine homes. And we at NewsBusted now expect him to make a documentary exposing his greedy capitalist tendencies. Right, Michael?”
July 26, 2014

NewsBusted (072514)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 7:30 am

Here we go:

– Illegal Aliens
– Rahm Emmanuel
– iPhone and Chinese Robots
– Electrified Bra
– Hookah Smoking
– Hospital Drone
– Gay Americans
– California Drought

Best Lines:

  • “An electrified bra that sends a shock to attackers will soon be on the market. Liberals now immediately demand that the bra be made available under Hobby Lobby’s health plan.”
  • “A new poll finds that at least 3% of Americans identify as gay. That’s only 3% of Americans, but 95% of characters on network TV shows.”
  • “As the California drought continues, residents have grown so untrusting they’re now using Facebook to rat out their neighbors who water their lawns in Farmville.”
July 25, 2014

NewsBusted (072214)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 7:35 am

Playing catchup … Here we go — This is one of their best ever:

– President Obama
– Malaysian Airlines
– Josh Earnest
– Illegal Alien Coyotes
– Self-Driving Obama Car
– CNN Reporter
– First Family
– Drunk TSA Agent
– llegals Hide in Gas Pipeline

Best Lines:

  • “The coyotes bringing the current wave of illegal aliens in through the southern border are making as much as $50,000 a week — which makes them the only high-paying jobs created during the Obama economy.”
  • “In a recent visit to Virginia, President Obama operated a self-driving car. But it was an Obama self-driving car, which means that it only turned left and then ended up in a ditch.”
  • “A CNN Reporter who referred to Israelis as ‘scum’ on Twitter has been reassigned — to a new job in the Obama State Department.”
  • “A drunk man at the San Francisco airport posed as a TSA agent and started groping women as he patted them down. The man’s behavior was so out of line the TSA hired him on the spot.”
  • “Illegal aliens have been found hiding in a natural gas pipeline and using it to get around border patrol agents. Uh, hold on … This just in. President Obama now plans on approving the Keyston XL Pipeline.”
July 18, 2014

NewsBusted (071814)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 9:20 am

Here we go:

– John Boehner
– President Obama
– Record cold in Australia
– Joe Biden
– Gun Control
– Illegal Aliens
– Oklahoma Earthquakes
– Megan Fox
– L.A. Marijuana Farmers Market
– Obama Fundraisers

Best Line:

  • “Recent data shows it would be 99 percent cheaper to fly the illegal aliens now swarming our border back to their home countries rather than processing them here. And most of the cost could be paid for with Michelle Obama’s frequent flier miles.”
  • “Oklahnoma has had more earthquakes than California in 2014. See, government regulations and taxes are so bad in California even the earthquakes are leaving.”
  • “President Obama has attended nearly 400 fundraisers since taking office. Wow — It’s amazing he finds time to play golf.”
July 15, 2014

NewsBusted (071514)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 9:24 am

Here we go:

– Lebron James
– President Obama
– Border Crisis
– Illegal Alien Children
– Ray Nagin Sentenced
– Costco and Dinesh D’Souza
– Global Warming Science
– Loreal Model

Best Lines:

  • “President Obama wants $3.7 billion to address the border crisis, but his proposal must be passed by both the House and the Senate — and approved by China.”
  • “The TSA is allowing recently arrived illegal aliens to fly on commercial airlines without proper identification. Great — Now the TSA will have even more time to strip-search your grandma.”
July 11, 2014

NewsBusted (071114)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 8:18 am

Here we go:

– President Obama
– Jimmy Carter
– Saudi Arabia
– European Google
– Sheila Jackson Lee
– Black Unemployment
– Kanye West
– Tyler Perry
– Burger King’s Gay Pride Whopper

Best Lines:

  • “America has overtaken Saudi Arabia as the world’s biggest oil-producing country. Wow, and you thought liberals hated America before.”
  • “Burger King has introduced a new ‘gay pride’ Whopper sandwich. It’s just like a regular Whopper, but if you choose not to order one, you’re immeiately accused of as hate crime.”
July 10, 2014

NewsBusted (070914)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 7:18 am

Here we go:

– 4th of July
– NBC News
– Illegal Immigrants
– Megyn Kelly
– Bill Ayers
– Yahoo! News
– Matt Bai
– Joey Chestnut
– Joan Rivers
– Michelle Obama
– Katt Williams

Best Line: “Joey Chestnut has won his eighth straight Fourth of July Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest. In order to work up an appetite this year, Chestnut made sure to first eat a Michelle Obama school lunch.”

June 29, 2014

NewsBusted (062714)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 7:06 am

Here we go:

– Television News
– President Obama
– Washington Post
– Brian Schweitzer and Eric Cantor
– CNN’s Paul Begala
– Michelle Obama
– Jennifer Lopez
– Hillary Clinton’s Book
– Tinder

Best Lines (among many more):

  • “Current surveys show America’s confidence in televsion news has fallen to an all-time low — Which is scary, because TV news is President Obama’s only source of information.”
  • “The editor of the Washington Post says we should negotiate with the Taliban more. So it’s official: Liberals want Obama to negotiate with everyone except Republicans.”
June 28, 2014

NewsBusted (062414)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 7:01 am

Continuing the catch-up campaign, here we go:

– President Obama
– Lois Lerner
– I.R.S.
– Military Advisors for Iraq
– Chemical Weapons Facilities
– U.S. Patent Office
– Washington Redskins
– ABC News and V.A. Scandal
– Valerie Jarrett
– Rupert Murdoch
– Obama in Toilet

Best Line: “ABC News gave the latest developments in the VA scandal just 14 seconds of coverage, which is exactly 14 seconds more than the Obama administration has spent trying to fix the problem.”

June 27, 2014

NewsBusted (062014)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 6:58 am

Yeah, we’ve got some catching up to do. So here goes:

– U.S. Unemployment
– Wendy Davis
– Boko Harum
– Police Armored Vehicles
– British Computer
– President Obama visits Indian Reservation
– Chelsea Clinton
– Starbucks

Best Line: “Texas State Senator Wendy Davis says Republicans don’t like people who don’t look like them. Yeah, Wendy. Because Mia Love, Bobby Jindal, Ben Carson, and Marco Rubio all look exactly alike.”