October 29, 2014

NewsBusted (102914)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 9:12 am

Here we go:

– Canadian Terror Shooting
– President Obama
– Obama Votes in Chicago
– Kathryn Ruemmler to replace Holder?
– Hillary Clinton
– White House Fence Jumper
– Malia Obama
– CNN’s Candy Crowley

Best Lines:

  • “After a radical Muslim gunman stormed the Canadian Parliament and killed a solider last week, President Obama was quick to reassure Prime Minister Stephen Harper that America is Canada’s strong ally — in the global war on workplace.”
  • “President Obama voted on the first day of midterm elections. And because he was in Chicago, his vote has already been counted 27 times.”
  • “Hillary Clinton claimed that businesses don’t create jobs. Former President Bill Clinton defended Hillary’s remark, claiming, ‘It just depends on what the definition of ‘job’ is.’”
October 24, 2014

NewsBusted (10/24/14)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 6:36 am

Here we go:

– Midterm Elections
– Republicans
– Falling Oil Prices
– Hardball with Chris Matthews
– STD Infections
– Kris and Bruce Jenner
– Mothers and Kids
– God and Sporting Events

Best Line: “MSNBC is suffering from record-low ratings. To give you an idea of how bad it is, ‘Hardball’ with Chris Matthews is now ‘Solitaire’ with Chris Matthews.”

October 21, 2014

NewsBusted (102114)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 6:25 am

Here we go:

– President Obama Low Aprroval
– Ebola
– Obama NJ Fundraiser
– Governor Dan Malloy
– CNN Cancels Crossfire
– Facebook’s Mark Zuckerberg
– Alaska Motorist hits Moose

Best Lines:

  • “… It seem that CDC stands for Centers for Disease Circulation.”
  • “Last week, President Obama cancelled his appearance at a Democratic fundraiser in New Jersey — which appears to be the first action he’s ever taken to get money out of politics.”
  • “CNN has cancelled the series ‘Crossfire.’ Network executives made the decision after realizing the show was still on the air.”
October 17, 2014

NewsBusted (101714)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 6:20 am

Here we go:

– Chinese Economy
– John Boehner
– Syria
– Senator Mark Udall
– Nielsen TV Ratings
– Honolulu City Council
– President Obama
– Starbucks
– Prince Charles
– Barbara Streisand

Best Line: “The Honolulu Ciy Council has withdrawn a proposal to name a popular beach after President Obama. So instead, they will name an unpopular beach after him.”

October 15, 2014

NewsBusted (101514)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 1:00 am

Here we go:

– Leon Panetta
– President Obama
– San Gabriel Mountains
– Harry Reid
– Syria
– China Leader Xi Jinping
– Obama Marriage
– Liberia
– Ebola

Best Lines:

  • “China has surpassed the United States to become the world’s biggest economy — which also means that Chinese President Xi Jinping has surpassed President Obama as the world’s most powerful Communist.”
  • “It has been determined that the Liberian man who vomited on a United Air Lines flight to Newark does not have Ebola. Health officials believe what made the man sick was not Ebola but the thought of being in Newark.”
October 11, 2014

NewsBusted (101014)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 11:23 am

Here we go:

– No Global Warming
– Michelle Obama
– New York Times
– Forbes 400 Richest Americans
– Amanda Bynes
– iPhone 6
– California Bans Plastic Bags

Best Lines:

  • “Michelle Obama dropped her bid to run for Senate last week after polls indicated that the only thing less popular than Michelle Obama’s school lunch program is Michelle Obama.”
  • “The New York Times announced plans to eliminate 100 newsroom jobs. But publishers say the positions could be restored, just as soon as Internet turns out to be a fad.”
October 7, 2014

NewsBusted (100714)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 6:29 am

Here we go:

– Mitt Romney
– President Obama
– Secret Service Director Julia Pierson
– Jimmy Carter
– White House Fence Jumper
– Pope Francis
– Nobel Peace Prize
– Obama Security Briefings
– Michael Phelps
– Creeky the Clown

Best Lines:

  • “According to a new report, President Obama has attended less than half of his daily intelligence briefings. But in Obama’s defense, he is given regular updates by his caddy.”
  • “Creeky, the world’s oldest working clown, has passed away at the age of 98. But don’t be sad. We still have Joe Biden.”
October 4, 2014

NewsBusted (100314)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 10:30 am

Here we go:

– Ebola
– President Obama
– Senator Mary Landrieu
– Midterm elections
– Michelle Obama
– Nik Wallenda
– Cosmetic Surgeries
– 3 Branches of Government
– NFL Domestic Abuse

Best Lines:

  • “A new poll shows Louisiana Republican Senate candidate Bill Cassidy with a slight edge over Democrat Senator Mary Landrieu. Insiders say Landrieu is so desperate to win reelection she’s considering moving to Louisiana.”
  • “Daredevil Nik Wallenda will soon attempt to cross the Chicago River on a highwire strung between two skyscrapers. It may sound dangerous, but it’s actually safer than walking the same distance on the streets of Chicago.”
October 1, 2014

NewsBusted (093013)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 6:45 am

Here we go:

– Eric Holder Resigns
– President Obama
– U.N. Climate Summit
– Lois Lerner
– White House Trespasser
– Obama Coffee Salute
– Mayor DeBlasio Groundhog
– Kim Kardashian Nude Photos

Best Lines:

  • “When reached for comment about his resignation, Eric Holder said he’s thinking of trying something new. We suggest law enforcement.”
  • “Last week, President Obama delivered remarks at the UN Climate Summit Conference. Just what the world needs: more hot air.”
September 26, 2014

NewsBusted (092614)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 9:49 am

Here we go:

– U.S. Treasury
– Food Stamps
– Non-Citizen Income
– Californians and Marijuana
– Jay Carney
– Sylvester Stallone
– iPhone 6

Best Lines:

  • “According to the U.S. Treasury, federal tax revenues reached a record $2.7 trillion for the fiscal year. The bad news: It’s already been wasted.”
  • “According to the Census Bureau, non-citizen income rose 15 times faster than the income of non-citizens last year. As a result, citizens are now demanding a path to non-citizenship.”
  • “The National Labor Relations Board ordered CNN to rehire 100 fired employees. That’s not fair; CNN doesn’t even have 100 viewers.”
  • “Sylvester Stallone has confirmed he plans to shoot another Rambo movie. In this installment, the former soldier fights the VA trying to get a medical appointment.”
September 24, 2014

NewsBusted (092314)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 8:05 pm

Here we go:

– Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel
– Senate Armed Forces Committee
– Centers for Disease Control
– President Obama
– Congress
– White House Picnic
– Benghazi
– Michelle Obama

Best Line: “In testimony before the House Armed Services Committee, Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel tried to explain President Obama’s ISIS strategy — which is also known as ‘Operation Making It Up As We Go Along.’”

September 20, 2014

NewsBusted (091914)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 6:45 am

Here goes:

– President Obama
– Jay Carney
– HHS Department
– Welfare Recipients
– Talking Obama Doll
– ISIS Social Media
– Satanic Temple
– Detroit
– Let’s Move!

Best Line: “Almost three months after leaving the White House, former Press Secretary Jay Carney is still lying low. He’s now a commentator on CNN.”

September 19, 2014

NewsBusted (091614)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 6:31 am

From earlier this week — Here goes:

– President Obama
– 9/11
– “Islamic State Not Islamic”
– August Jobs Report
– NBC News
– Syrian Rebels
– South Dakota Snow

Best Lines:

  • “At the Pentagon on 9/11, President Obama said Americans must never forget September 11, 2001. But he does hope we all forget September 11, 2012.”
  • “The White House is urging Americans not to read too much into the weak August jobs report. In fact, they say it would be best if you don’t read it al all.”
  • “President Obama says he may reach out to the Syrian rebels. But the rebels say they don’t have time to play golf.”
September 12, 2014

NewsBusted (091214)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 7:11 am

Here we go:

– Obama Approval Rating
– California
– U.S. Post Office
– Senator Mary Landrieu
– Bill O’Reilly
– Detroit Bankruptcy
– Bill Clinton
– Michael Sam and Dallas Cowboys

Best Lines:

  • “Scorching temperatures continue in the deep South. In fact, it’s so hot that Louisiana Senator Mary Landrieu is glad she doesn’t live there.”
  • “Detroit’s historic Chapter 9 bankruptcy trial is still under way. Detroit is so broke the mayor is now sending out emails claiming to be a Nigerian prince.”
September 10, 2014

NewsBusted (090914)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 7:50 am

Here we go:

– President Obama
– Andrew Cuomo
– Bill Clinton
– Senator Mary Landrieu
– Vice President Joe Biden
– Detroit Bankruptcy Trial
– Nude Celebrity Photos

Best Line:

  • “President Obama said ISIS must be destroyed, but then he said it can become a manageable problem. When asked if he;s sending mixed messages, the President said, ‘Yes, and no.’”
  • “New York Governor Andrew Cuomo told reporters that debates can be a disservice to democracy. Yes, Cuomo would much rather voters pick their candidates the old-fashioned way — by just voting for a familiar last name.”
  • “Former President Bill Clinton was in New Orleans Saturday campaigning for Senator Mary Landrieu. The two Democrats have a lot in common. For example, Clinton doesn’t live in Louisiana either.”