August 25, 2015

NewsBusted (082515)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 6:30 am

Here we go:

Topics:
– Congress in Recess
– ISIS
– President Obama
– Donald Trump
– U.S. Tax Code
– Taco Bell Meth Lab
– Hillary Clinton
– Heat Wave
– Lil B Endorses Sanders

Best Lines:

  • “Donald Trump says he wants to simplify the U.S. tax code. He wants it to be so simple that even Joe Biden can understand it.”
  • “According to the FBI, more 200 American have joined ISIS. Who says President Obama can’t create jobs?”
  • “A recent poll shows that fewer people than ever think Hillary Clinton is trustworthy. The pollsters say many of these same people have also wired money to members of the Nigerian royal family.”
August 18, 2015

NewsBusted (081815)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 8:55 am

Here we go:

Topics:
– Hillary Clinton Server
– Al Gore
– Joe Biden
– President Obama
– Greenhouse Gas Emissions
– Obama Vacation
– Martha’s Vineyard
– Cuba
– Rick Perry
– Janay Rice

Best Lines:

  • “President Obama announced new restrictions on greenhouse gas emissions. As excpected, Republicans in Congress are vowing to fight the plan — a virtual guarantee that they will actually do nothing.”
  • “President Obama is vacationing on Martha’s Vineyard. He’s relaxing and playing a lot of golf, which is exactly what he does when he’s not on vacation.”
August 14, 2015

NewsBusted (080915)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 7:15 am

Completing the catchup campaign, here goes:

Topics:
– Obama Vacation
– Martha’s Vineyard
– Hillary Clinton Poll Numbers
– 13 HOURS movie
– Census Bureau
– GOP Candidates
– Iran Nuke Deal
– Border Crisis

Best Lines:

  • “The Obamas love Marth’s Vineyard. It gives them a chance to see how the other half of the top 1 percent live.”
  • “Hillary Clinton’s poll numbers continue to fall. Pollsters say it’s too soon to draw a conclusion, but it could be a sign that Americans are getting smarter.”
  • “The Census Bureau reports that so far this year, more than 2 millino babies have been born in the U.S. — Or as Planned Parenthood calls these babies, ‘the ones that got away.’”
  • “New polls show 65 percent of adults disapprove of President Obama’s handling of the border crisis. The other 35 percent responded ‘No comprende.’”
August 13, 2015

NewsBusted (080415)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 7:00 am

Continuing with the catchup campaign, here goes:

Topics:
– Planned Parenthood
– Cecil the Lion
– Hillary Clinton
– Jim Gilmore for President
– Chris Matthews
– Debbie Wasserman Schultz
– John Kerry
– Khloe Kardashian
– Lincoln Chaffee

Best Lines:

  • “Planned Parenthood is under fire for selling aborted baby parts. Newly released videos show representatives literally willing to charge and arm and a leg for an arm and a leg.”
  • “HIllary Clinton’s staff shut down a section of a New York department store last week so she could get a $600 haircut. Aides say Hillary needed to look her best for a speech on income inequality.”
  • “Former Rhode Island Governor Lincoln Chaffee is running for the Democratic nomination, but his campaign isn’t going well. Right now he’s polling two points behind the dentist who killed Cecil the Lion.”
August 12, 2015

NewsBusted (072815)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 11:25 am

This is the start of a catch-up campaign, so here goes:

Topics:
– President Obama
– Overtime Pay
– Hillary Clinton
– Iran
– British Royal Family
– Greece
– Oregon Marijuana
– Starbucks
– Martin O’Malley

Best Lines:

  • “President Obama has proposed making 5 million more people eligible for overtime pay. Aides say that after 6-1/2 years in office, Obama feels he hasn’t killed enough jobs.”
  • “Greece is set to receive $95 billion in new loans. To give you an idea of how broke they are, they want the U.S. to co-sign.”
  • “Former Maryland Governor Martin O’Malley’s campaign is off to a slow start. Six weeks after announcing his candidacy, he’s still trying to shore up his base — Mrs. O’Malley.”
July 21, 2015

NewsBusted (071415 and 072115)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 12:43 pm

Need to catch up a bit, so here goes.

Here’s last week’s video:

Topics:
– Democrats
– Hillary Clinton
– Facebook’s Mark Zuckerberg
– Great Wall of China
– Donald Trump
– New TERMINATOR movie
– Florida Black Bears
– Selfie Sticks

Best Lines:

  • “Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg wants to import more foreign workers. Apparently Zuckerberg feels there are too many jobs Americans just won’t get off Facebook to do.”
  • “According to a new poll, 35% of Americans would consider leaving the country. These 35% are also known as ‘taxpayers.’”
  • “Florida officials have confirmed that a black bear hunt will take place this fall, and animal rights activists are outraged. They say, ‘black bear lives matter.’”

++++++++++++++++

Here’s this week’s video:

Topics:
– President Obama Job Approval
– Iran Nuclear Deal
– Donald Trump
– John McCain
– El Chapo
– Choctaw Nation
– Francisco Sanchez
– 50 Cent

Best Lines:

  • “An agreement on Iran’s nuclear program has been reached, but the is unpopular with Israel and with the American people. Or, as President Obama calls it, ‘a win-win.’”
  • “Donald Trump is under fire for saying John McCain is not a war hero. C’mon, Donald, that’s way out of line. Without McCain, we wouldn’t have won the War of 1812.”
  • “In Durant, Oklahoma, President Obama visited the Choctaw nation Indian tribe. The tribe gave the president his own Indian name: ‘Dances with Iranians.’”
  • “Rapper 50 Cent has filed for bankruptcy. The 40 year-old rapper says he doesn’t mind being dead broke, because at his age, most rappers are just dead.”
July 7, 2015

NewsBusted (070715)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 12:52 am

Here we go:

Topics:
– Independence Day
– President Obama
– Dukes of Hazzard
– Fidel Castro
– Bernie Sanders
– Malia Obama Birthday
– Greek Financial Crisis
– Rapper DMX

Best Lines:

  • “Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders is surging in the polls. Wouldn’t it be amazing if this country elected two socialist presidents in a row?”
  • “A belated happy birthday to Malia Obama, who turned 17 last weekend. Sadly, Malia boycotted her own party when she learned that her mother had planned the menu.”
July 3, 2015

NewsBusted (063015)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 6:30 am

Here we go:

Topics:
- U.S. Supreme Court
- Obamacare
- same-sex marriage
- Al-Qaeda struggling
- Pentagon
- Rosie O’Donnell
- Michelle Obama boyfriend
- Charlize Theron and Sean Penn split
- Hillary Clinton

Best Lines:

  • “New reports indicate that Al Qaeda is struggling financially. As a result, some jihadist terrorists are so depressed they’ve lost the will to die.”
  • “So far the Pentagon has spent $2.7 billion to fight ISIS. But just think how much it would cost if we were trying to win.”
  • “According to the National Enquirer, Rosie O’Donnell decided not to adopt a baby boy because he had a birth defect. Ironically, the child may never know how lucky he was to have a birth defect.”
  • “Tabloids are reporting the Michelle Obama is having an affair with a Secret Service agent. But President Obama isn’t jealous. In fact, he told Michelle, ‘If like your boyfriend, you can keep your boyfriend.’”
June 25, 2015

NewsBusted (062415)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 10:10 am

Here we go:

Topics:
– Donald Trump
– President Obama
– ISIS
– Rachel Dolezal
– Matt Lauer
– Loretta Lynch Sworn In
– Brian Williams to MSNBC
– Senator Marco Rubio
– McDonald’s Hires Robert Gibbs

Best Lines:

  • “On the Today Show, Rachel Dolezal told Matt Lauer she identifies as black. Even more incredible is that Lauer identifies as a journalist.”
  • “Brian Williams has been transferred to MSNBC. He’ll be paid $10 million a yaar, which amounts to about a million dollars per viewer.”
  • “There are more problems for Senator Marco Rubio. The New York Times reports that he may have violated the law back in the 90s, when he once removed a tag from his mattress.”
June 16, 2015

NewsBusted (061615)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 9:54 am

Here we go:

Topics:
– ISIS in Iraq
– Martin O’Malley
– DHS
– San Diego Union Tribune
– American Obesity
– Chimpanzees Can Cook
– Rescued Bull
– New Carl’s Jr. Burger

Best Lines:

  • “The San Diego Union Tribune newspaper plans to eliminate 600 jobs. But management is hoping that the positions can be restored if the Internet turns out to be a fad.’
  • “According to a new study, chimpanzees may have the ability to cook, which is more bad news for the fast-food workers who are demanding $15 an hour.”
  • “In Georgia, a 1500-pound bull was rescued after falling down a deep well. First responders said the accident could have been prevented if the bull hadn’t been texting.”
June 9, 2015

NewsBusted (060915)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 10:19 am

Here we go:

Topics:
– American Pharaoh
– President Obama
– Al Sharpton
– FIFA Scandal
– Global Warming Data
– Mississippi
– New Jersey Cop Shooting
– Dennis Rodman
– Caitlyn Jenner

Best Lines:

  • “President Obama is taking credit for once again making the United States the most respected country on earth. Is he kidding? America’s not even the most respected country in the Obama White House.”
  • “The FIFA bribery scandal continues to make headlines, which isn’t suprising. Soccer scandals are infinitely more intresting than soccer iteself.”
  • “Once again, scientists have been caught manipulating data in recent global warming reports. They claim they had no choice but to fudge the data, because previous records were stored on Hillary Clinton’s hard drive.”
June 2, 2015

NewsBusted (060215)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 8:33 am

Here we go:

Topics:
– America Divided
– ISIS
– President Obama
– Obama Library
– MSNBC
– Football’s Justin Smith
– Jimmy Carter
– American Idol

Best Line: “In April, MSNBC had its lowest ratings in 10 years. To give you an idea of how bad it is, the network is changing its slogan from ‘Lean Forward’ to ‘Spiral Downward.’”

May 28, 2015

NewsBusted (052715)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 6:30 am

Here we go:

Topics:
– ISIS captures Ramadi
– Islamic State
– Mitch McConnell
– Romney v Holyfield
– Hillary Clinton
– George Stephanopoulos
– L.A. Minimum Wage
– Bill Murray

Best Line: “Hillary Clinton is considering granting an interview to ABC’s George Stephanopoulos. The announcement came from her campaign spokesman, ABC’s George Stephanopoulos.”

May 22, 2015

NewsBusted (051915)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 9:00 am

Here we go:

Topics:
– Hillary Clinton
– Body Cameras
– Iran
– President Obama
– Rob Kardashian
– Medical Marijuana
– Underground Tunnels
– Ben Carson
– Mama June

Best Line: “Authorities have discovered two more underground tunnels linking San Diego and Mexico. Experts say as a result Californians seeking to buy illegal drugs could experience delays of up to 10 minutes.”

May 12, 2015

NewsBusted (051215)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 8:42 am

Here we go:

Topics:
– UK Elections
– President Obama
– Cinco de Mayo
– ISIS
– Pamela Geller
– Tom Brady
– Hillary Clinton
– Bernie Sanders
– Survivor

Best Lines:

  • “President Obama hosted a Cinco de Mayo reception last week. And in the spirit of the Mexican holiday, guests were required to sneak in under the fence.”
  • “Politico reports there is a stunning lack of enthusiasm for Hillary (Clinton) in Hollywood. It seems celebrities have finally realized that Hillary is as phony as they are.”