July 21, 2015

NewsBusted (071415 and 072115)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 12:43 pm

Need to catch up a bit, so here goes.

Here’s last week’s video:

Topics:
– Democrats
– Hillary Clinton
– Facebook’s Mark Zuckerberg
– Great Wall of China
– Donald Trump
– New TERMINATOR movie
– Florida Black Bears
– Selfie Sticks

Best Lines:

  • “Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg wants to import more foreign workers. Apparently Zuckerberg feels there are too many jobs Americans just won’t get off Facebook to do.”
  • “According to a new poll, 35% of Americans would consider leaving the country. These 35% are also known as ‘taxpayers.’”
  • “Florida officials have confirmed that a black bear hunt will take place this fall, and animal rights activists are outraged. They say, ‘black bear lives matter.’”

++++++++++++++++

Here’s this week’s video:

Topics:
– President Obama Job Approval
– Iran Nuclear Deal
– Donald Trump
– John McCain
– El Chapo
– Choctaw Nation
– Francisco Sanchez
– 50 Cent

Best Lines:

  • “An agreement on Iran’s nuclear program has been reached, but the is unpopular with Israel and with the American people. Or, as President Obama calls it, ‘a win-win.’”
  • “Donald Trump is under fire for saying John McCain is not a war hero. C’mon, Donald, that’s way out of line. Without McCain, we wouldn’t have won the War of 1812.”
  • “In Durant, Oklahoma, President Obama visited the Choctaw nation Indian tribe. The tribe gave the president his own Indian name: ‘Dances with Iranians.’”
  • “Rapper 50 Cent has filed for bankruptcy. The 40 year-old rapper says he doesn’t mind being dead broke, because at his age, most rappers are just dead.”
July 7, 2015

NewsBusted (070715)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 12:52 am

Here we go:

Topics:
– Independence Day
– President Obama
– Dukes of Hazzard
– Fidel Castro
– Bernie Sanders
– Malia Obama Birthday
– Greek Financial Crisis
– Rapper DMX

Best Lines:

  • “Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders is surging in the polls. Wouldn’t it be amazing if this country elected two socialist presidents in a row?”
  • “A belated happy birthday to Malia Obama, who turned 17 last weekend. Sadly, Malia boycotted her own party when she learned that her mother had planned the menu.”
July 3, 2015

NewsBusted (063015)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 6:30 am

Here we go:

Topics:
- U.S. Supreme Court
- Obamacare
- same-sex marriage
- Al-Qaeda struggling
- Pentagon
- Rosie O’Donnell
- Michelle Obama boyfriend
- Charlize Theron and Sean Penn split
- Hillary Clinton

Best Lines:

  • “New reports indicate that Al Qaeda is struggling financially. As a result, some jihadist terrorists are so depressed they’ve lost the will to die.”
  • “So far the Pentagon has spent $2.7 billion to fight ISIS. But just think how much it would cost if we were trying to win.”
  • “According to the National Enquirer, Rosie O’Donnell decided not to adopt a baby boy because he had a birth defect. Ironically, the child may never know how lucky he was to have a birth defect.”
  • “Tabloids are reporting the Michelle Obama is having an affair with a Secret Service agent. But President Obama isn’t jealous. In fact, he told Michelle, ‘If like your boyfriend, you can keep your boyfriend.’”
June 25, 2015

NewsBusted (062415)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 10:10 am

Here we go:

Topics:
– Donald Trump
– President Obama
– ISIS
– Rachel Dolezal
– Matt Lauer
– Loretta Lynch Sworn In
– Brian Williams to MSNBC
– Senator Marco Rubio
– McDonald’s Hires Robert Gibbs

Best Lines:

  • “On the Today Show, Rachel Dolezal told Matt Lauer she identifies as black. Even more incredible is that Lauer identifies as a journalist.”
  • “Brian Williams has been transferred to MSNBC. He’ll be paid $10 million a yaar, which amounts to about a million dollars per viewer.”
  • “There are more problems for Senator Marco Rubio. The New York Times reports that he may have violated the law back in the 90s, when he once removed a tag from his mattress.”
June 16, 2015

NewsBusted (061615)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 9:54 am

Here we go:

Topics:
– ISIS in Iraq
– Martin O’Malley
– DHS
– San Diego Union Tribune
– American Obesity
– Chimpanzees Can Cook
– Rescued Bull
– New Carl’s Jr. Burger

Best Lines:

  • “The San Diego Union Tribune newspaper plans to eliminate 600 jobs. But management is hoping that the positions can be restored if the Internet turns out to be a fad.’
  • “According to a new study, chimpanzees may have the ability to cook, which is more bad news for the fast-food workers who are demanding $15 an hour.”
  • “In Georgia, a 1500-pound bull was rescued after falling down a deep well. First responders said the accident could have been prevented if the bull hadn’t been texting.”
June 9, 2015

NewsBusted (060915)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 10:19 am

Here we go:

Topics:
– American Pharaoh
– President Obama
– Al Sharpton
– FIFA Scandal
– Global Warming Data
– Mississippi
– New Jersey Cop Shooting
– Dennis Rodman
– Caitlyn Jenner

Best Lines:

  • “President Obama is taking credit for once again making the United States the most respected country on earth. Is he kidding? America’s not even the most respected country in the Obama White House.”
  • “The FIFA bribery scandal continues to make headlines, which isn’t suprising. Soccer scandals are infinitely more intresting than soccer iteself.”
  • “Once again, scientists have been caught manipulating data in recent global warming reports. They claim they had no choice but to fudge the data, because previous records were stored on Hillary Clinton’s hard drive.”
June 2, 2015

NewsBusted (060215)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 8:33 am

Here we go:

Topics:
– America Divided
– ISIS
– President Obama
– Obama Library
– MSNBC
– Football’s Justin Smith
– Jimmy Carter
– American Idol

Best Line: “In April, MSNBC had its lowest ratings in 10 years. To give you an idea of how bad it is, the network is changing its slogan from ‘Lean Forward’ to ‘Spiral Downward.’”

May 28, 2015

NewsBusted (052715)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 6:30 am

Here we go:

Topics:
– ISIS captures Ramadi
– Islamic State
– Mitch McConnell
– Romney v Holyfield
– Hillary Clinton
– George Stephanopoulos
– L.A. Minimum Wage
– Bill Murray

Best Line: “Hillary Clinton is considering granting an interview to ABC’s George Stephanopoulos. The announcement came from her campaign spokesman, ABC’s George Stephanopoulos.”

May 22, 2015

NewsBusted (051915)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 9:00 am

Here we go:

Topics:
– Hillary Clinton
– Body Cameras
– Iran
– President Obama
– Rob Kardashian
– Medical Marijuana
– Underground Tunnels
– Ben Carson
– Mama June

Best Line: “Authorities have discovered two more underground tunnels linking San Diego and Mexico. Experts say as a result Californians seeking to buy illegal drugs could experience delays of up to 10 minutes.”

May 12, 2015

NewsBusted (051215)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 8:42 am

Here we go:

Topics:
– UK Elections
– President Obama
– Cinco de Mayo
– ISIS
– Pamela Geller
– Tom Brady
– Hillary Clinton
– Bernie Sanders
– Survivor

Best Lines:

  • “President Obama hosted a Cinco de Mayo reception last week. And in the spirit of the Mexican holiday, guests were required to sneak in under the fence.”
  • “Politico reports there is a stunning lack of enthusiasm for Hillary (Clinton) in Hollywood. It seems celebrities have finally realized that Hillary is as phony as they are.”
May 5, 2015

NewsBusted (050515)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 11:16 am

Here we go:

Topics:
– Hillary Clinton
– Donald Trump
– Obamacare
– Food Stamps
– STDs
– V.A. Hospitals
– CNN Hires 40 Reporters
– California
– Movie ‘Trainwreck

Best Lines:

  • “A new study finds that Obamacare is enticing more Americans to apply for Food Stamps — or, as President Obama calls it, ‘a win-win.’”
  • “The number of patients facing long waits at VA hospitals has not descreased at all. White House sources say President Obama is aware of the situation, and is already pretending to act outraged.”
  • “in the lead-up to the 2016 presidential election, CNN has hired 40 new political reporters. So CNN now officially has more political reporters than viewers.”
April 28, 2015

NewsBusted (042815)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 8:57 am

Here we go:

Topics:
– Hillary Clinton
– Bruce Jenner
– President Obama
– Al Qaeda Airstrike
– Coachella Music Festival
– Tim Tebow to Eagles
– Al Capone
– MSNBC

Best Lines:

  • “Security guards confiscated hundreds of fake IDs at California’s Coachella Music Festival. The phony IDs were turned over to the Obama administration, who immediately redistributed them to illegal immigrants.”
  • “A new study shows that Al Capone was probably the worst tax evader of all time. Historians claim that if Capone were alive today, he would probably be a host on MSNBC.”
April 21, 2015

NewsBusted (042115)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 8:11 pm

Here we go:

Topics:
– U.S. Debt
– Millennials Living with Parents
– California Drought
– Al Gore
– ISIS
– Condom Use
– CBS Bob Schieffer Retiring
– Meth Use Among Seniors

Best Lines:

  • “In a recent speech Al Gore says severe snowstorms are caused by global warming. He also claims that all the weight he’s gained was caused by dieting.”
  • “‘Face the Nation’ anchor Bob Schieffer announced he will retire this summer. And he plans to stay out of the public eye by getting his own show on MSNBC.”
April 14, 2015

NewsBusted (041415)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 10:41 am

Here we go:

Topics:
– Hillary Clinton
– Iran Nuke Deal
– Senator Rand Paul
– Rahm Emanuel Re-elected
– U.N. Security Council
– Yemen
– Climate Change
– Madonna
– Ellen DeGeneres Split

Best Lines:

  • “President Obama is praising a nuclear deal with Iran, although it’s not actually a deal. It’s more like an outline of a template of a framework of blueprint of a rough draft of a deal.”
  • “Congratulations to Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel, who has been reelected to a second term. Emanuel credits his campaign’s get-out-the vote effort, which had volunteers going door to door and grave to grave.”
  • “The United Nations Security Council held an emergency session on the crisit in Yemen — or, as President Obama calls it, ‘the success in Yemen.’”
April 7, 2015

NewsBusted (040715)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 9:01 am

Here we go:

Topics:
– 2016 Presidential Race
– Hillary Clinton
– Marijuana Brownies
– Mitt Romney vs Evander Holyfield
– George W. Bush
– ISIS
– NASA
– Good Morning America’s Lara Spencer
– High School Math Teacher Convicted of Sex With Students

Best Lines (among many more):

  • “A majority of Democrats surveyed want to see new faces in the 2016 presidential race. The rest are conent with the two faces Hillary already has.”
  • “Speaking of Hillary, Republican presidential hopeful Carly Fiorina is challenging HIllary to name one accomplishment. Sadly, all Hillary could come up with is her successful marriage.”
  • “A 49 year-old mother in New Endlgnad was arrested for giving her 13 year-old daughter marijuana brownies. Teachers said the girl got so hungry she actually ate a Michelle Obama school lunch.”
  • “Mitt Romney will box Evander Holyfield in a charity bout next month. And just like his 2012 campaign, Romney is expected to pull his punches and then lose to the black man.”
  • “NASA is testing the world’s largest and most powerful rocket booster. We’re still waiting for word on when President Obama plans to give it to Iran.”