May 28, 2015

NewsBusted (052715)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 6:30 am

Here we go:

Topics:
– ISIS captures Ramadi
– Islamic State
– Mitch McConnell
– Romney v Holyfield
– Hillary Clinton
– George Stephanopoulos
– L.A. Minimum Wage
– Bill Murray

Best Line: “Hillary Clinton is considering granting an interview to ABC’s George Stephanopoulos. The announcement came from her campaign spokesman, ABC’s George Stephanopoulos.”

May 22, 2015

NewsBusted (051915)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 9:00 am

Here we go:

Topics:
– Hillary Clinton
– Body Cameras
– Iran
– President Obama
– Rob Kardashian
– Medical Marijuana
– Underground Tunnels
– Ben Carson
– Mama June

Best Line: “Authorities have discovered two more underground tunnels linking San Diego and Mexico. Experts say as a result Californians seeking to buy illegal drugs could experience delays of up to 10 minutes.”

May 12, 2015

NewsBusted (051215)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 8:42 am

Here we go:

Topics:
– UK Elections
– President Obama
– Cinco de Mayo
– ISIS
– Pamela Geller
– Tom Brady
– Hillary Clinton
– Bernie Sanders
– Survivor

Best Lines:

  • “President Obama hosted a Cinco de Mayo reception last week. And in the spirit of the Mexican holiday, guests were required to sneak in under the fence.”
  • “Politico reports there is a stunning lack of enthusiasm for Hillary (Clinton) in Hollywood. It seems celebrities have finally realized that Hillary is as phony as they are.”
May 5, 2015

NewsBusted (050515)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 11:16 am

Here we go:

Topics:
– Hillary Clinton
– Donald Trump
– Obamacare
– Food Stamps
– STDs
– V.A. Hospitals
– CNN Hires 40 Reporters
– California
– Movie ‘Trainwreck

Best Lines:

  • “A new study finds that Obamacare is enticing more Americans to apply for Food Stamps — or, as President Obama calls it, ‘a win-win.’”
  • “The number of patients facing long waits at VA hospitals has not descreased at all. White House sources say President Obama is aware of the situation, and is already pretending to act outraged.”
  • “in the lead-up to the 2016 presidential election, CNN has hired 40 new political reporters. So CNN now officially has more political reporters than viewers.”
April 28, 2015

NewsBusted (042815)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 8:57 am

Here we go:

Topics:
– Hillary Clinton
– Bruce Jenner
– President Obama
– Al Qaeda Airstrike
– Coachella Music Festival
– Tim Tebow to Eagles
– Al Capone
– MSNBC

Best Lines:

  • “Security guards confiscated hundreds of fake IDs at California’s Coachella Music Festival. The phony IDs were turned over to the Obama administration, who immediately redistributed them to illegal immigrants.”
  • “A new study shows that Al Capone was probably the worst tax evader of all time. Historians claim that if Capone were alive today, he would probably be a host on MSNBC.”
April 21, 2015

NewsBusted (042115)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 8:11 pm

Here we go:

Topics:
– U.S. Debt
– Millennials Living with Parents
– California Drought
– Al Gore
– ISIS
– Condom Use
– CBS Bob Schieffer Retiring
– Meth Use Among Seniors

Best Lines:

  • “In a recent speech Al Gore says severe snowstorms are caused by global warming. He also claims that all the weight he’s gained was caused by dieting.”
  • “‘Face the Nation’ anchor Bob Schieffer announced he will retire this summer. And he plans to stay out of the public eye by getting his own show on MSNBC.”
April 14, 2015

NewsBusted (041415)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 10:41 am

Here we go:

Topics:
– Hillary Clinton
– Iran Nuke Deal
– Senator Rand Paul
– Rahm Emanuel Re-elected
– U.N. Security Council
– Yemen
– Climate Change
– Madonna
– Ellen DeGeneres Split

Best Lines:

  • “President Obama is praising a nuclear deal with Iran, although it’s not actually a deal. It’s more like an outline of a template of a framework of blueprint of a rough draft of a deal.”
  • “Congratulations to Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel, who has been reelected to a second term. Emanuel credits his campaign’s get-out-the vote effort, which had volunteers going door to door and grave to grave.”
  • “The United Nations Security Council held an emergency session on the crisit in Yemen — or, as President Obama calls it, ‘the success in Yemen.’”
April 7, 2015

NewsBusted (040715)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 9:01 am

Here we go:

Topics:
– 2016 Presidential Race
– Hillary Clinton
– Marijuana Brownies
– Mitt Romney vs Evander Holyfield
– George W. Bush
– ISIS
– NASA
– Good Morning America’s Lara Spencer
– High School Math Teacher Convicted of Sex With Students

Best Lines (among many more):

  • “A majority of Democrats surveyed want to see new faces in the 2016 presidential race. The rest are conent with the two faces Hillary already has.”
  • “Speaking of Hillary, Republican presidential hopeful Carly Fiorina is challenging HIllary to name one accomplishment. Sadly, all Hillary could come up with is her successful marriage.”
  • “A 49 year-old mother in New Endlgnad was arrested for giving her 13 year-old daughter marijuana brownies. Teachers said the girl got so hungry she actually ate a Michelle Obama school lunch.”
  • “Mitt Romney will box Evander Holyfield in a charity bout next month. And just like his 2012 campaign, Romney is expected to pull his punches and then lose to the black man.”
  • “NASA is testing the world’s largest and most powerful rocket booster. We’re still waiting for word on when President Obama plans to give it to Iran.”
March 31, 2015

NewsBusted (033115)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 8:30 am

Here we go:

Topics:
– Harry Reid
– Ted Cruz
– Bowe Bergdahl
– Jen Psaki
– Starbucks
– Atheism
– Census Bureau
– Elton John
– Dolce & Gabanna

Best Line: “Starbucks employees will no longer discuss racial topics with customers as the company has dropped its “Race Together” campaign. However, Starbucks remains committed to gouging all races equally.”

March 24, 2015

NewsBusted (032415)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 2:01 pm

Here we go:

Topics:
– President Obama
– Economist Magazine
– Eric Holder
– Senator Robert Menendez
– Social Security
– Rolling Stones
– Senior Binge Drinkers
– ASPCA
– Madonna
– New York pot laws

Best Lines:

  • “Scientists sy gene manipulation will one day allow people to live to be 500 years old. Unfortunately, Social Security runs out of money in 20 years.”
  • “Rumor has it that the Rolling Stones will launch a North American tour this summer. Now We don’t want to say they’re getting old, but the Stones’ tongue-and-lips logo is now a set of dentures.”
  • “According to a new study, seniors are the most frequent binge drinkers — followed closely by juniors, sophomores and freshmen.”
March 17, 2015

NewsBusted (031715)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 9:17 am

Here we go:

Topics:
– Hillary Clinton
– Time Magazine
– Private Emails
– Al Sharpton
– Eric Holder
– Iran
– 93-year-old High School Graduate
– Apple Watch

Best Line: “The current cover of Time Magazine depicts Hillary Clinton with devil horns. Can you believe that? Time Magazine is still being published!”

March 12, 2015

NewsBusted (031015)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 6:20 am

Here we go:

Topics:
– Witchcraft
– Apple Watch
– ISIS
– DeNiro Tax Problems
– False Eyelashes
– Obama and Islam
– Little Caesars
– Michelle Obama
– National Enquirer

Best Lines: “The National Enquirer repports that Michelle Obama wants a divorce before the end of the second term. Like many Americans, Michelle hates the thought of being stuck with Obama for the next two years.”

March 3, 2015

NewsBusted (030315)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 7:55 am

Here we go:

Topics:
– FCC to Regulate Internet
– James Clapper vs John Kerry
– Jihadi John
– Eric Holder
– Obama Approval
– Terror Group al-Shabaab
– D.C. Winter
– Joe Biden
– Madonna

Best Lines:

  • “National Intelligence Director James Clapper said 2014 was the deadliest year for global terrorism, while John Kerry said we’re safer than ever. Asked if the administration is sending mixed messagess, a White House spokesman said, ‘Yes, and no.’”
  • “Attorney General Eric Holder has finally called the enemy by name. Of course, Holder thinks the enemy is Fox News.”
  • “After a brief uptick, President Obama’s job approval nmbers have fallen once again. Obama is so unpopular his new Secret Service code name is ‘Radical Islam.’”
  • “The DC area has been experiencing a severely brutal winter. It’s been so cold Joe Biden has been wearing mittens when he gropes women.”
February 24, 2015

NewsBusted (022415)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 9:25 am

Here we go:

Topics:
– ISIS
– President Obama
– Ashton Carter
– Homeland Security Funding
– Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt
– Climate Change
– Yemen
– Marijuana Use by Teens
– Deja Vu

Best Lines:

  •  ”As the budget debate heats up in the Senate, some worry that if Homeland Security funding does not pass, millions of Americans will no longer be able to get their phones tapped.”
  •  ”The State Department is urging Americans not to travel to Yemen. They say that Yemen is now more dangerous than Chicago.”
February 17, 2015

NewsBusted (021715)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 6:16 am

Here we go:

Topics:
- John KitzHaber
- Brian Williams
- Dan Rather
- Obama authorize use of force
- John Kerry
- Rosie O’Donnell leaves The View
- Alec Baldwin memoir

Best Line:

  • Dan Rather is standing up for Brian Williams, which seems like a dubious endorsement. It’s like Bill Clinton standing up for Bill Cosby.
  • Some are now advising Brian Williams to run for the Democratic nomination against Hillary. After all, it’s already been proven that HIllary can be beaten by a lying phony.