October 14, 2015

NewsBusted (101315)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 8:28 am

Here we go:

Topics:
– Russia’s Syrian Airstrikes
– President Obama
– German President Joachim Gauck
– Hillary Clinton
– ObamaTrade
– Dr. Ben Carson
– 911 calls
– National Enquirer
– Governor Jerry Brown
– Assisted Suicide

Best Lines:

  • “At the White House last week, President Obama met with German President Joachim Gauck. The two presidents have very different worldview. For example, Gauck is pro-democracy.”
  • “Hillary Clinton now opposes Obamatrade after supporting it 45 times. So it’s official; her authenticity phase is now over.”
  • “Speaking of Hillary, she says she is the most transparent person in American history. And she has a point. 63% of Americans say they can see right through her.”
October 6, 2015

NewsBusted (100615)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 7:15 am

Here we go:

Topics:
– Government Corruption
– Joe Biden
– ISIS
– Lying Teenagers
– Hillary Clinton
– Facebook
– The Kardashians

Best Lines:

  • “A possible presidential campaign by Vice President Joe Biden now enjoys 90 percent support — among television comedy writers.”
  • “According to a new study, the average teenager lies five times in a day — or as Hillary Clinton calls them, amateurs.”
  • “There’s more bad news for Hillary Clinton. Facebook is adding a ‘Dislike’ button.”
  • “The National Enquirer is reporting that the Kardashian family is falling apart. But unfortunately, they’re not going away.”
October 2, 2015

NewsBusted (092915)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 7:15 am

Here we go:

Topics:
– Boehner Resigns
– China’s Xi Jinping
– Pope Francis
– ISIS
– Joe Biden
– Bernie Sanders
– Scott Walker
– Caitlyn Jenner

Best Lines:

  • “House Speaker Boehner announced his resignation. Boehner realized that no matter how hard he tried, it was virtually impossible for him to cave into President Obama any more than he already has.”
  • “President Obama hosted a state dinner for Chinese president Xi Jinping. And China’s president brought good news to the White House: At the moment, China has no plans to foreclose.”
  • “Last week, Pope Francis addressed a joint session of Congress, where he denounced ISIS. Sadly, ISIS fears the Pope more than they fear President Obama.”
  • “As you’ve probably heard, Dr. Ben Carson said he wouldn’t support electing a Muslim president. But according to a recent poll, 29 percent of Americans already think it’s too late.”
October 1, 2015

NewsBusted (092215)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 9:02 am

Once again, in catch-up mode. Here we go:

Topics:
– Wrong Direction
– European Refugee Crisis
– Bernie Sanders
– Hillary Clinton
– Brian Williams on MSNBC
– New Jersey Tanning Mom
– Apple Windshields
– College Marijuana Use

Best Lines:

  • “According to a new poll, 68% of adults believe the country believes we’re heading in the wrong direction. And 30% are so disillusioned, they’re considering moving back to Mexico.”
  • “Most Democrats say Bernie Sanders say is more honest and caring than Hillary Clinton. But then again, who isn’t?”
  • “Hillary Clinton’s image continue to deteriorate. To give you an idea of how bad it is, even Brian Williams is calling her a liar.”
  • “After more than 6 months in exile, Brian Williams is back on TV on MSNBC. Williams will be earning $10 million a year, which comes to about $1 million per viewer.”
  • “Apple is developing new computerized windshields that display driving directions and roadmaps — and all without requiring drivers to take their eyes off their cellphones.”
September 15, 2015

NewsBusted (091515)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 7:12 am

Here we go:

Topics:
– Iran Nuclear Deal
– Israel
– Hillary Clinton
– Joe Biden
– Late Show with Steven Colbert
– Bobby Jindal
– Donald Trump
– Charlie Sheen
– Tim Tebow

Best Lines:

  • “Hillary Clinton recently spoke at a ‘Women for Hillary’ meeting in Milwaukee. She was remarkably energetic considering she’d been up all night rehearsing her authenticity.”
  • “The staffer who set up Hillary’s private email server asserted his Fifth Amendment rights to not answer questions, on the grounds that he might end up like Vince Foster.”
  • “Joe Biden appeared on the Late Show with Stephen Colbert last week. Unfortunately, most viewers switched over to Jimmy Fallon after they mistakenly thought they tuned into a softball game.”
  • “The Philadelphia Eagles have released Tim Tebow. He better hope he gets picked up by another team, because unlike most NFL players, Tebow doesn’t have a criminal record to fall back on.”
September 14, 2015

NewsBusted (090815)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 12:47 pm

A little behind on this, but here we go:

Topics:
– Illegal Immigration
– Hillary Email Scandal
– Lindsey Graham
– 92-Year-Old High School Graduate
– Teenagers and Texting
– Crystal Meth Candy
– Sesame Street and HBO
– Kylie Jenner

Best Lines:

  • “Hillary Clinton’s email scandal is deepening. To give you an idea of how bad it is, her new campaign slogan is: ‘Hillary Clinton: Innocent Until Proven Guilty.’”
  • “The latest Fox News polls show Senator Lindsey Graham’s support at zero percent. And now Graham is concerned that he might have peaked too soon.”
September 3, 2015

NewsBusted (090115)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 9:33 am

Here we go:

TOPICS:
– Wall Street Panic
– Hillary Clinton
– Donald Trump vs. Jorge Ramos
– Jeb Bush
– Black Lives Matter
– President Obama
– WNBA
– Oreo Cookies

Best Lines:

  • “There was a big panic on Wall Street last week. At one point, the stock market was falling faster than Hillary Clinton’s poll numbers.”
  • “Last week, a 103- year-old woman threw out the first pitch at a Texas Rangers game. Even though she tried her best, she still throws like President Obama.”
  • “And finally, Nabisco is moving production of Oreos from Chicago to Mexico. They say it’s cheaper to make the cookies south of the border, and then smuggle them into the U.S.”
August 25, 2015

NewsBusted (082515)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 6:30 am

Here we go:

Topics:
– Congress in Recess
– ISIS
– President Obama
– Donald Trump
– U.S. Tax Code
– Taco Bell Meth Lab
– Hillary Clinton
– Heat Wave
– Lil B Endorses Sanders

Best Lines:

  • “Donald Trump says he wants to simplify the U.S. tax code. He wants it to be so simple that even Joe Biden can understand it.”
  • “According to the FBI, more 200 American have joined ISIS. Who says President Obama can’t create jobs?”
  • “A recent poll shows that fewer people than ever think Hillary Clinton is trustworthy. The pollsters say many of these same people have also wired money to members of the Nigerian royal family.”
August 18, 2015

NewsBusted (081815)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 8:55 am

Here we go:

Topics:
– Hillary Clinton Server
– Al Gore
– Joe Biden
– President Obama
– Greenhouse Gas Emissions
– Obama Vacation
– Martha’s Vineyard
– Cuba
– Rick Perry
– Janay Rice

Best Lines:

  • “President Obama announced new restrictions on greenhouse gas emissions. As excpected, Republicans in Congress are vowing to fight the plan — a virtual guarantee that they will actually do nothing.”
  • “President Obama is vacationing on Martha’s Vineyard. He’s relaxing and playing a lot of golf, which is exactly what he does when he’s not on vacation.”
August 14, 2015

NewsBusted (080915)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 7:15 am

Completing the catchup campaign, here goes:

Topics:
– Obama Vacation
– Martha’s Vineyard
– Hillary Clinton Poll Numbers
– 13 HOURS movie
– Census Bureau
– GOP Candidates
– Iran Nuke Deal
– Border Crisis

Best Lines:

  • “The Obamas love Marth’s Vineyard. It gives them a chance to see how the other half of the top 1 percent live.”
  • “Hillary Clinton’s poll numbers continue to fall. Pollsters say it’s too soon to draw a conclusion, but it could be a sign that Americans are getting smarter.”
  • “The Census Bureau reports that so far this year, more than 2 millino babies have been born in the U.S. — Or as Planned Parenthood calls these babies, ‘the ones that got away.’”
  • “New polls show 65 percent of adults disapprove of President Obama’s handling of the border crisis. The other 35 percent responded ‘No comprende.’”
August 13, 2015

NewsBusted (080415)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 7:00 am

Continuing with the catchup campaign, here goes:

Topics:
– Planned Parenthood
– Cecil the Lion
– Hillary Clinton
– Jim Gilmore for President
– Chris Matthews
– Debbie Wasserman Schultz
– John Kerry
– Khloe Kardashian
– Lincoln Chaffee

Best Lines:

  • “Planned Parenthood is under fire for selling aborted baby parts. Newly released videos show representatives literally willing to charge and arm and a leg for an arm and a leg.”
  • “HIllary Clinton’s staff shut down a section of a New York department store last week so she could get a $600 haircut. Aides say Hillary needed to look her best for a speech on income inequality.”
  • “Former Rhode Island Governor Lincoln Chaffee is running for the Democratic nomination, but his campaign isn’t going well. Right now he’s polling two points behind the dentist who killed Cecil the Lion.”
August 12, 2015

NewsBusted (072815)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 11:25 am

This is the start of a catch-up campaign, so here goes:

Topics:
– President Obama
– Overtime Pay
– Hillary Clinton
– Iran
– British Royal Family
– Greece
– Oregon Marijuana
– Starbucks
– Martin O’Malley

Best Lines:

  • “President Obama has proposed making 5 million more people eligible for overtime pay. Aides say that after 6-1/2 years in office, Obama feels he hasn’t killed enough jobs.”
  • “Greece is set to receive $95 billion in new loans. To give you an idea of how broke they are, they want the U.S. to co-sign.”
  • “Former Maryland Governor Martin O’Malley’s campaign is off to a slow start. Six weeks after announcing his candidacy, he’s still trying to shore up his base — Mrs. O’Malley.”
July 21, 2015

NewsBusted (071415 and 072115)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 12:43 pm

Need to catch up a bit, so here goes.

Here’s last week’s video:

Topics:
– Democrats
– Hillary Clinton
– Facebook’s Mark Zuckerberg
– Great Wall of China
– Donald Trump
– New TERMINATOR movie
– Florida Black Bears
– Selfie Sticks

Best Lines:

  • “Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg wants to import more foreign workers. Apparently Zuckerberg feels there are too many jobs Americans just won’t get off Facebook to do.”
  • “According to a new poll, 35% of Americans would consider leaving the country. These 35% are also known as ‘taxpayers.’”
  • “Florida officials have confirmed that a black bear hunt will take place this fall, and animal rights activists are outraged. They say, ‘black bear lives matter.’”

++++++++++++++++

Here’s this week’s video:

Topics:
– President Obama Job Approval
– Iran Nuclear Deal
– Donald Trump
– John McCain
– El Chapo
– Choctaw Nation
– Francisco Sanchez
– 50 Cent

Best Lines:

  • “An agreement on Iran’s nuclear program has been reached, but the is unpopular with Israel and with the American people. Or, as President Obama calls it, ‘a win-win.’”
  • “Donald Trump is under fire for saying John McCain is not a war hero. C’mon, Donald, that’s way out of line. Without McCain, we wouldn’t have won the War of 1812.”
  • “In Durant, Oklahoma, President Obama visited the Choctaw nation Indian tribe. The tribe gave the president his own Indian name: ‘Dances with Iranians.’”
  • “Rapper 50 Cent has filed for bankruptcy. The 40 year-old rapper says he doesn’t mind being dead broke, because at his age, most rappers are just dead.”
July 7, 2015

NewsBusted (070715)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 12:52 am

Here we go:

Topics:
– Independence Day
– President Obama
– Dukes of Hazzard
– Fidel Castro
– Bernie Sanders
– Malia Obama Birthday
– Greek Financial Crisis
– Rapper DMX

Best Lines:

  • “Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders is surging in the polls. Wouldn’t it be amazing if this country elected two socialist presidents in a row?”
  • “A belated happy birthday to Malia Obama, who turned 17 last weekend. Sadly, Malia boycotted her own party when she learned that her mother had planned the menu.”
July 3, 2015

NewsBusted (063015)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 6:30 am

Here we go:

Topics:
- U.S. Supreme Court
- Obamacare
- same-sex marriage
- Al-Qaeda struggling
- Pentagon
- Rosie O’Donnell
- Michelle Obama boyfriend
- Charlize Theron and Sean Penn split
- Hillary Clinton

Best Lines:

  • “New reports indicate that Al Qaeda is struggling financially. As a result, some jihadist terrorists are so depressed they’ve lost the will to die.”
  • “So far the Pentagon has spent $2.7 billion to fight ISIS. But just think how much it would cost if we were trying to win.”
  • “According to the National Enquirer, Rosie O’Donnell decided not to adopt a baby boy because he had a birth defect. Ironically, the child may never know how lucky he was to have a birth defect.”
  • “Tabloids are reporting the Michelle Obama is having an affair with a Secret Service agent. But President Obama isn’t jealous. In fact, he told Michelle, ‘If like your boyfriend, you can keep your boyfriend.’”