January 20, 2015

NewsBusted (1/20/15)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 3:57 pm

Here we go:

– President Obama
– Paris Unity March
– John Kerry & James Taylor
– Josh Earnest and Radical Islam
– U.S. Capitol
– Plot to Poison Boehner
– Gitmo
– Boston Time Capsule
– Obama Marriage on the Rocks

Best Line: “According to the National Enquirer, Barack and Michelle Obama’s marriage is on the rocks. To give you an idea of how bad it is, their new Secret Service code names are ‘Bill’ and ‘Hillary.’”

January 14, 2015

NewsBusted (011315)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 6:29 am

Here we go:

– President Obama
– Afghanistan
– Raul Castro
– Supreme Court
– Obamacare
– CNN and Wolf Blitzer
– CDC and Flu Epidemic
– Skunks in Granite Bay, CA
– Cher

Best Lines:

  • “CNN just had its lowest ratings ever last year. To give you an idea of how bad it is, the Situation with Wolf Blitzer is now the Isolation Room with Wolf Blister.”
  • “President Obama asked the FCC to put the Internet under the same restrictions as phone service. That way the only thing he’ll need to regulate the Internet is his pen.”
January 7, 2015

NewsBusted (010615)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 6:30 am

Here we go:

– Obama Back From Vacation
– Obama’s Fourth Quarter
– Harry Reid Injured
– Cuba’s Raul Castro
– Sony Hack Scandal
– North Korea
– Al Sharpton
– Iran’s Supreme Leader
– Black James Bond?

Best Lines: “In leaked emails, Sony executives say audiences may be ready for a black James Bond. That may be true, but they’ll never be ready for a white Shaft.”

December 19, 2014

NewsBusted (121914)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 6:33 am

Here we go:

– Time Magazine Person of the Year
– China’s Economy
– Iran Facebook Campaign
– President Obama
– Nashville
– California Drought
– World’s Fattest Man
– Kathleen Sebelius
– Obamacare
– Large Baby Girl

Best Lines:

  • “Time Magazine has chosen the Ebola fighters as Person of the Year. Good choice. Thanks to these heroes, Ebola is now even less widely circulated than Time Magazine.”
  • “It’s official. China has surpassed the U.S. to become the world’s biggest economy. Of course, America could buy and sell China, if they would just lend us the money.”
  • “Former Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius said Obamacare needs a new name. Here’s an idea: How about the Unaffordable Care Act?”
December 16, 2014

NewsBusted (121614)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 6:25 am

Here we go:

– House Speaker John Boehner
– Jonathan Gruber
– Al Sharpton
– Prince William
– Senior al-Qaeda Killed
– Hillary Clinton
– President Obama’s Export Council
– Gitmo Prisoners Tortured?

Best Lines:

  • “President Obama is under fire for welcoming Al Sharpton to the White House. Critics call the controversial African-American leader a divisive, race-baiting fraud — And they say the same thing about Sharpton.”
  • “Spaaking of Al Sharpton he is notorious for perpetrating the Tawana Brawley hoax of 1987, whereas Obama perpetrated the Affordable Care Act hoax of 2010.”
  • “Prince William visited with the President at the White House last week. The Prince was seeking advice from Obama on how to act like a king.”
December 12, 2014

NewsBusted (121214)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 6:20 am

Here we go:

– Afghanistan Casualties
– Brian Williams/NBC Nightly News
– Strip Club Christmas
– Michelle Obama
– Hillary Clinton Drinking?
– Hillary Clinton Speaking Fees
– Missing Brains
– New Super-Ferrari

Best Lines: “The U.N. reports that 8,000 civilians have been killed or injured this year in Afghanistan — which means Afghanistan has now become almost as dangerous as Chicago.”

December 10, 2014

NewsBusted (120914)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 6:10 am

Here we go:

– Social Security
– Eric Garner Case
– Candy Crowley
– President Obama
– Ferguson, Missouri
– Native American Tribes
– McDonald’s McRib
– Cher

Best Line: “At the White House, President Obama met with leaders of American Indian tribes. But Native Americans are very upset. This country used to belong to them, and now it belongs to China.”

December 9, 2014

NewsBusted (120514)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 6:15 am

Here we go:

– President Obama
– Hillary Clinton
– Obama Approval Rating
– Illegal Aliens
– Queen Latifah Show
– Joggers
– New Obama book
– Angelina Jolie

Best Line: “According to Us Weekly, actress Angelina Jolie says she thinks President Obama is a socialist in disguise. That’s ridiculous, Angelina. He’s not in disguise.”

December 3, 2014

NewsBusted (120214)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 6:19 am

Here we go:

– Black Friday Shoppers
– U.N. Peacekeepers
– Chuck Hagel Resigns
– Ferguson, MO
– President Obama
– Ray Rice
– Obamacare
– Colorado Marijuana
– Fastest Texter

Best Lines:

  • Following the grand jury’s decision in Ferguson, Missouri, President Obama said ‘We are a nation built on the rule of law.’ Then Secret Service wrestled him to the ground and said ‘What have you done with the real President Obama?’”
  • In Colorado, marijuana dispensaries offered discounts for what they called ‘Green Friday.’ Apparently the savings were so great that some potheads actually got out of bed before noon.”
November 21, 2014

NewsBusted (112114)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 9:09 am

Here we go:

– Debbie Wasserman-Schultz
– China’s one-child limit
– IRS fraudulent refunds
– Gitmo detainees
– Fox series “Utopia” canceled
– Joe’s Crab Shack
– Bruce Jenner

Best Line: “According to a new report, the IRS issued $5.2 billion in fraudulent refunds last year, establishing itself as the federal government’s most efficient agency.”

November 18, 2014

NewsBusted (111814)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 6:30 am

Here we go:

– Asian Economic Summit
– President Obama
– Net Neutrality
– Chris Matthews
– U.S. Attorney Loretta Lynch
– Prince Charles Birthday
– Kim Kardashian

Best Line: “President Obama has nominiated U.S. Attorney Loretta Lynch to be the country’s Attorney General. Lynch is a curious choice, since she has no previous experience running guns to Mexico.”

November 14, 2014

NewsBusted (111414)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 6:15 am

Here we go:


– Vladimir Putin
– Illegal Border Crossers
– TSA/Ted Nugent
– Substitute Teacher
– Heavy Snorers
– Willie Nelson
– Kim Kardashian
– False Eyelashes

Best Line: “A new memoir by Willie Nelson will be released next summer. Publishers say the book will reveal the role marijuana played in Willie’s life. For example, Nelson started writing his memoir in 1972.”

November 11, 2014

NewsBusted (111114)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 6:20 am

Here we go:

– Midterm Elections
– President Obama
– D.C. Legalizes Medical Marijuana
– Illinois Governor Pat Quinn
– F.B.I.
– Associated Press
– Al Franken

Best Lines:

  • “Washington, DC residents voted to legalize recreational marijuana last week. So now it’s official: DC now stands for ‘District of Cannabis.’”
  • “In related news, Florida voters rejected the legalization of medical marijuana. Exit polls show that much of the pro-marijuana base is just now showing up to vote.”
  • “Despite losing by 5 points, Illinois Governor Pat Quinn will not concede until every vote is counted. Apparently Quinn received nowhere near the amount of votes he paid for.”
  • “News that an FBI agent was posing as a AP reporter came as no surprise to the Assocated Press. The Associated Press employs hundreds of men and women who pose as reporters every day.”
November 7, 2014

NewsBusted (110714)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 6:59 am

Here we go:

– Midterm Elections
– GOP Takes Senate
– Ebola
– Governor Andrew Cuomo’s Book
– Obamas to Divorce?
– Michelle Obama
– Cuba’s New Catholic Church
– Champ Bailey Retires

Best Lines:

  • “President Obama says America’s Ebola response should not be driven by fear. Yeah, right. He feels is should be driven by politics.”
  • “According to the Globe, Michelle Obama wants a divorce before Barack finishes his second term. Like most Americans, she hates the thought of being stuck with him for another two years.”
  • “Cuba has allowed construction of its first new Catholic church in 55 years. Coincidentally, it will also be Cuba’s first new building in 55 years.”
November 4, 2014

NewsBusted: A Twofer (103114 and 110414)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 11:09 am

Here we go, and here we go:

October 31 Topics:
– Ben Bradlee
– President Obama
– Amnesty for Illegals
– China’s Economy
– Michelle Obama
– Hunter Biden Cocaine Scandal
– Al Franken
– TSA’s Jon Pistole
– Gas Prices
– Thanksgiving

November 4 Topics:
– Marine Sergeant Tahmooressi Released
– Halloween Candy
– CNN’s Carol Costello
– President Obama and Mike Michaud
– ISIS Chemical Weapons
– Pee Wee Football
– Country’s Direction
– Jay Leno’s New Show

Best Lines (Oct. 31):

  • “Last week, legendary Washington Post editor Ben Bradlee died at the age of 93. He guided coverage of the Watergate scandal during a time when the Washington Post was actually interested in White House corruption.”
  • “China’s economic growth slowed to a 5-year low in the third quarter. As a result, the Chinese are now asking Americans to spend more at Wal-Mart.”
  • “Al Franken’s Senate reelection strategy is to be as boring as possible. It’s the same strategy that kept him on Saturday Night Live for all those years.”
  • The head of the TSA, Jon Pistole, announced he is stepping down. He said he wants to spend more time groping his family.”

Best Lines (Nov. 4):

  • “CNN anchor Carol Costello has finally apologized for mocking the Palin family. Costello says, fron now on, before she goes on the air, she’ll remind herself (that) people may actually be watching.”
  • “The U.S. is investigating reports that ISIS used chemical weapons against Iraqis. White House sources say that if these reports are confirmed, President Obama will not hesitate to continue making empty threats.”
  • “Jay Leno is getting a new TV show on CNBC — and even though it’s not on the air yet, it’s already beating Conan in the ratings.”