October 1, 2014

NewsBusted (093013)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 6:45 am

Here we go:

Topics:
– Eric Holder Resigns
– President Obama
– U.N. Climate Summit
– Lois Lerner
– White House Trespasser
– Obama Coffee Salute
– Mayor DeBlasio Groundhog
– Kim Kardashian Nude Photos

Best Lines:

  • “When reached for comment about his resignation, Eric Holder said he’s thinking of trying something new. We suggest law enforcement.”
  • “Last week, President Obama delivered remarks at the UN Climate Summit Conference. Just what the world needs: more hot air.”
September 26, 2014

NewsBusted (092614)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 9:49 am

Here we go:

Topics:
– U.S. Treasury
– Food Stamps
– Non-Citizen Income
– Californians and Marijuana
– Jay Carney
– CNN
– Sylvester Stallone
– iPhone 6

Best Lines:

  • “According to the U.S. Treasury, federal tax revenues reached a record $2.7 trillion for the fiscal year. The bad news: It’s already been wasted.”
  • “According to the Census Bureau, non-citizen income rose 15 times faster than the income of non-citizens last year. As a result, citizens are now demanding a path to non-citizenship.”
  • “The National Labor Relations Board ordered CNN to rehire 100 fired employees. That’s not fair; CNN doesn’t even have 100 viewers.”
  • “Sylvester Stallone has confirmed he plans to shoot another Rambo movie. In this installment, the former soldier fights the VA trying to get a medical appointment.”
September 24, 2014

NewsBusted (092314)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 8:05 pm

Here we go:

Topics:
– Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel
– Senate Armed Forces Committee
– ISIS
– Centers for Disease Control
– President Obama
– Congress
– White House Picnic
– Benghazi
– Michelle Obama

Best Line: “In testimony before the House Armed Services Committee, Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel tried to explain President Obama’s ISIS strategy — which is also known as ‘Operation Making It Up As We Go Along.’”

September 20, 2014

NewsBusted (091914)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 6:45 am

Here goes:

Topics:
– President Obama
– USA.GOV
– Jay Carney
– HHS Department
– Welfare Recipients
– Talking Obama Doll
– ISIS Social Media
– Satanic Temple
– Detroit
– Let’s Move!

Best Line: “Almost three months after leaving the White House, former Press Secretary Jay Carney is still lying low. He’s now a commentator on CNN.”

September 19, 2014

NewsBusted (091614)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 6:31 am

From earlier this week — Here goes:

Topics:
– President Obama
– ISIS
– 9/11
– “Islamic State Not Islamic”
– August Jobs Report
– NBC News
– Syrian Rebels
– South Dakota Snow

Best Lines:

  • “At the Pentagon on 9/11, President Obama said Americans must never forget September 11, 2001. But he does hope we all forget September 11, 2012.”
  • “The White House is urging Americans not to read too much into the weak August jobs report. In fact, they say it would be best if you don’t read it al all.”
  • “President Obama says he may reach out to the Syrian rebels. But the rebels say they don’t have time to play golf.”
September 12, 2014

NewsBusted (091214)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 7:11 am

Here we go:

Topics:
– Obama Approval Rating
– California
– U.S. Post Office
– Senator Mary Landrieu
– Bill O’Reilly
– Detroit Bankruptcy
– Bill Clinton
– ISIS
– Michael Sam and Dallas Cowboys

Best Lines:

  • “Scorching temperatures continue in the deep South. In fact, it’s so hot that Louisiana Senator Mary Landrieu is glad she doesn’t live there.”
  • “Detroit’s historic Chapter 9 bankruptcy trial is still under way. Detroit is so broke the mayor is now sending out emails claiming to be a Nigerian prince.”
September 10, 2014

NewsBusted (090914)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 7:50 am

Here we go:

Topics:
– President Obama
– ISIS
– Andrew Cuomo
– Bill Clinton
– Senator Mary Landrieu
– Vice President Joe Biden
– Detroit Bankruptcy Trial
– Nude Celebrity Photos

Best Line:

  • “President Obama said ISIS must be destroyed, but then he said it can become a manageable problem. When asked if he;s sending mixed messages, the President said, ‘Yes, and no.’”
  • “New York Governor Andrew Cuomo told reporters that debates can be a disservice to democracy. Yes, Cuomo would much rather voters pick their candidates the old-fashioned way — by just voting for a familiar last name.”
  • “Former President Bill Clinton was in New Orleans Saturday campaigning for Senator Mary Landrieu. The two Democrats have a lot in common. For example, Clinton doesn’t live in Louisiana either.”
September 9, 2014

NewsBusted (090514)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 8:01 am

Continuing the catch-up campaign, here goes:

Topics:
– Race Relations
– President Obama
– Mexicans
– Senate Races
– CNN Layoffs
– IQ Scores
– Obama Marriage
– Fidel Castro
– NBC TV Series “Bad Judge”

Best Lines:

  • “Recent polling indicates that only 10 percent of Americans believe race relations have improved under President Obama. And pollsters believe that many of these 10 percent were being sarcastic.”
  • “Speaking of polling, a new survey shows that 34 percent of Mexicans want to move to the United States. As for the other 66 percent … they’re already here.”
  • “President Obama will not be visiting at least four states with tight Senate races during the upcoming campaign season — which means the President will have to restrict his travel to the other 53 states.”
September 8, 2014

NewsBusted (090214)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 6:45 am

Continuing the catch-up campaign, here goes:

Topics:
– Labor Day
– Obama Job Approval
– Russia invades Ukraine
– No Strategy for ISIS
– Obama Economic Advisors
– Nightly News
– Spike Lee

Best Lines (among many):

  • “This past Monday was Labor Day, or as millions of Americans no longer in the workforce call it: Monday.”
  • “President Obama’s job approval rating is at the lowerst point of his presidency. And to give you an idea of how unpopulaor Obama is — his new Secret Service code name is Ebola.”
  • “In response to the Russian invasion of the Ukraine, President Obama is threatening to hit back. He threatened to impose the same economic sanctions that he imposed on America back in 2009.”
September 7, 2014

NewsBusted (082914)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 11:00 am

Continuing the catch-up campaign, here goes:

Topics:
– Hillary Clinton
– Russian Reset
– South Sudan
– ISIS Operatives in U.S.
– Terrorists
– U.S. Border
– BBQ with Barack
– Vacation Days
– Obama and Golf
– U.S. Postal Service

Best Lines:

  • “Intelligence sources say ISIS has hundreds of operatives in the United States – which means the terror group has created more American jobs than President Obama.”
  • “The U.S. Postal Service reported a loss of nearly $2 billion last quarter. But what’s really embarrassing is that it was all lost in the mail.”
September 6, 2014

NewsBusted (082614)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 10:04 am

Well, we have some catching up to do, so there will be one of these per day for the next five. Enjoy.

Here goes:

Topics:
– James Foley Beheaded
– President Obama
– Ferguson, Missouri
– Petro Poroshenko
– Vladimir Putin
– David Gregory
– U.S. Economy
– Human Brain

Best Line: “Former Meet the Press moderator David Gregory has chosen to stay out of the public eye. That’s right — he’s getting his own show on MSNBC.”

August 16, 2014

NewsBusted (081514)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 11:20 am

Here we go:

Topics:
– National Debt
– Jewish Voters
– Democratic Party
– Impeachment
– PF Chang’s
– Thomas Sowell
– San Antonio Spurs
– Laura Ingraham
– NFL Super Bowl 50

Best Lines:

  • “Conservative radio host Laura Ingraham is hinting she may run for office. And Democrats are already coming up with hundreds of sexist things to say about her.”
  • “The NFL announced it will not use Roman numberals to signify Super Bowl 50. They figure with (that) with Common Core, nobody knows how to read Roman numberals any more.”
August 13, 2014

NewsBusted (8/13/14)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 7:05 am

Here we go:

Topics:
– Ebola Virus
– Russian Bombers
– President Obama
– US-Africa Leaders Summitt
– Joe Biden
– Nancy Pelosi
– Montana Senate Race
– Congressman Mo Brooks
– Obama Cheat at Golf?

Best Lines:

  • “Last week President Obama hosted a state dinner for several Third World African dictators. Obama wanted to get their advice on how to lead a nation in poverty without a constitution.”
  • “During a speecn at the U.S.-Africa leaders summit last week, Joe Biden referred to Africa as ‘a nation.’ And President Obama reminded attendees that America is a nation too — with 57 states.”
  • “Nancy Pelosi also mistakenly referred to Africa as a country last week. A spokesperson said Pelosi never passed geography, so she has no idea what’s in it.”
August 11, 2014

NewsBusted (080814)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 12:59 pm

Catching up on Friday’s edition, here we go:

Topics:
– Putin
– Obamacare
– Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee
– NBC’s Chuck Todd
– Illegal Aliens
– Michelle Obama
– Hillary Clinton
– Joe Biden

Best Lines:

  • “Hillary Clinton is refusing to disclose her net worth. Yeah, let me guess … her net worth is just a little bit more than ‘dead broke.’”
  • “A new book claims that Joe Biden likes to swim in the nude. And you can read all about it in the latest issue of ’101 Reasons We Wish We Were Blind’ magazine.”
August 5, 2014

NewsBusted (080514)

Filed under: NewsBusted — Tom @ 6:38 am

Here we go:

Topics:
– John Kerry
– Gaza Cease Fire
– John Boehner
– Unemployment Rate
– Indiana Pacers’ Paul George
– Mitt Romney
– Firefighters and Climate Change
– Sarah Palin
– New York Times
– Marijuana Legalization

Best Lines:

  • “Sarah Palin has launched her own online digital TV channel. The New York Times say they look forward to not watching it, so they can give it a bad review.”
  • “Speaking of the New York Times, they just endorsed the legalization of marijuana. Be we think they just need more Americans stoned in order to take Paul Krugman seriously.”